The Killer Kale Monsters

This Should Scare You..

So I'm reading this article about how this woman now has hypothyroidism because she ate a boatload of kale.  And I thought to myself, "This takes the cake!!" 

And I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a piece of cake.

As I type this, I occasionally stop to take a sip from either a glass filled with a kale smoothie, or from a cup of COFFEE.  

I wonder if I'm slowly killing myself.

According to this article, I probably only have minutes to live. 

It's a fascinating read!  The writer goes on to tell of a visit to her dentist who told her that she was ruining her teeth by drinking her vegetable juices and that she would be better off eating chocolate and drinking soda.   It reminded me of that riddle that went around when I was in grad school:

Q:  What do you call the guy who finished last in his class in Medical School?
A:  Doctor.

Have I been brainwashed? Have I been sold a bill of goods by a shifty-eyed Australian and a truck driver from Winslow, Arizona?

.... or could it possibly be that I feel a lot healthier since I started eating more vegetables and stopped bingeing on hot dogs????

Kale agrees with me.  In addition to other vegetables, fruits, nuts, proteins, and whole grains.  And MEAT.  And coffee.  And sometimes chocolate, and sometimes alcohol....

IN MODERATION!!!!

Here's another favorite of mine.  How is it that now cane sugar has become so gosh-darned sexy?

I grew up in Hawaii, land of pure cane sugar.  Way back then, some idiots went around telling us not to eat too much of it because it wasn't good for you. I'm now finding products which pride themselves on using pure cane sugar, no corn syrup.

Like it's all cool and groovy. 

Okay, I know that corn syrup is not good for us. As Americans, we swill it down by the gallon every year, and I read somewhere that most of the calories in this country come from sugary drinks and the monster cups of sweet creamy macchiato sweetness, with the cute mermaid on the side. 

We get sold a bunch of really stupid ideas about food... Like, oh, Agave Nectar. I'll not even go there. 

Anyways, back to the subject at hand. Thank GOD I read that article, and now I know that Twinkies are safe again.

Did you know this? Now you can bake 6 twinkies in the luxury of your own home..  So now I have a choice.  I can stay here with my cup of coffee and my killer kale smoothie, or I can go to Toys "R" Us and buy this life-saving kitchen gadget:

Handy Life-Saving Healthful Kitchen Gadget on Sale Now!!!

Remember that movie Super Size Me, and the guy who ate MacDougall's food every day for a month?  What made him ill was the fact that he was exceeding the recommended caloric amount of food every day.

There's another documentary where a guy ate the same diet, but at the recommended daily caloric limit. He lost weight. And yes, his lab tests showed an improvement in his overall health. Because he didn't Binge.

Yes, if I ate nothing but binge on Kale for the next 30 days, I GET that I'd probably feel pretty sick.  I'm guessing I'd be even sicker if I ate nothing but Twinkies.  Both of these plans receive the grade of "F" because too much of anything ain't pretty. 

I'm pretty sure that's probably even true of too much Richard Armitage.  Hmm....

AND a cute cat!!!

Okay, quit ogling the handsome British actor and the lovely cat. Back to my rant.

I'm reminded of the story of the man who had a horse who ran away. The neighbors expressed their concern for his loss. He said, "Could be good, could be bad. We'll see."
The horse came back with a mate and his neighbors extolled his good fortune. He said, "Could be good, could be bad. We'll see."
Then his son breaks his leg when he attempts to ride the new horse. The neighbors are aghast and comment on how awful this accident had been. The man said, "Could be good, could be bad. We'll see."
Then the army recruiters passed his son up because he was lame. The neighbors rejoiced and said, "how wonderful, your son has been spared!" The man said, ...well, you KNOW what he said. 

the same applies to food. One day it's great, the next day, it's out.

I'm going to stick to what seems to settle in my tummy nicely, and that gives me energy.  I'm going to finish my coffee and have a piece of chocolate, and tonight we're having chicken. I will picture my grandmother waving her wooden spoon in the air and saying, "eat your vegetables!!!"

And I will.