Unleash Your Amazing Authentic Self

Patricia Moreno, creator of intenSATI in the Pose of Commitment

I don't know about you, but this picture inspires in me a sense of how strong I am capable of being. It's a picture of Patricia Moreno, who has inspired thousands of people to think-shout-feel, "I AM STRONG!"

If you had told me two years ago that every Saturday morning I'd be leading a cardio fitness class, getting a room full of people to be smiling and shouting, "I want it, I want it, I REALLY REALLY WANT IT!!"  I'd have accused you of being under the influence of a powerful hallucinogenic.  

(Guess what I'm now doing every Saturday morning??)

Fortunately, I found truth in the following words from Moshe Feldenkrais:

"We act in accordance with our self-image."

Two years ago, my self image was bad... I was obese, depressed, hated my job, and despised the person I saw in the mirror.

My morning mantra?   "I hate my life."  I said it every morning religiously as I brushed my teeth.   I worked well over 40 hours, then went home and numbed myself every evening with junk food and television. 

Things got really bad when one of the people in my support system decided to yell and scream at me.  I got mad like a four year old, and how did I respond?  I GOT EVEN.  I said mean things.  I unfriended her on Facebook.   (Don't ever do that).   Well that got me shunned forever.  She hated me, and I hated myself four times as viciously.  I provided myself with ample evidence of my worthlessness, and a reason for old ghosts to come out and torment me. The depression deepened and turned to thoughts of doom and a fervent wish to suddenly and inexplicably disappear forever.  My inner 2-year-old had taken over and was screaming, "That'd teach 'em, huh?"  I was being ridiculous.  It was miserable.

Fortunately, I heard the words of John O'Donohue who, on a cd borrowed from the library,  advised that,"Sometimes, in your heart, when you're wounded, one of the best ways that you can heal yourself is to direct a kind gaze inward toward your soul and the kindness of that gaze, and its own beauty can, in the pathos of your own inner loss, transfigure that loss, and bring home to you whatever is missing in your life."

Be a Warrior - Willing to Stand for Yourself and Guard Your Thoughts

Those words, spoken softly in a lyric Irish brogue,  washed over me like a healing balm.  I made the decision to be kind to myself, and my behaviors changed.  I started bringing home the things that were missing from my life. Self respect. Exercise. Fun.  Good books. Friends. Family.  Vegetables. Forgiveness. Of myself. Of Others.  My new morning mantra?  "With gratitude, I take full responsibility for my life. My thoughts. My feelings. My actions.  All I need is within me now."  I began doing an intenSati workout every weekday morning, and sometimes on the weekends too. 

A few months later, I got an email message inviting me to intenSATI Leader training. It was something that had called to me the first time I did a workout... and now the call was getting stronger.

Team Ready - Rutgers Campus, March 2013

Over time, I continued with Sati Life Warrior Training.  I started feeling healthier. I began eating a lot more vegetables and ditched the binge eating behavior.  I studied for the Group Fitness Instructor Exam. I passed!  I shed 50 pounds effortlessly!

It felt as though I were in a dream the day I found myself on the Rutgers campus in New Jersey, in the same room with Patricia Moreno, her head Leader Trainer Betsy Cast, and an amazing group of peers. 


I went home with my shiny certificate and taught a few classes to friends here and there.  I started gaining confidence. I found a studio where I could still teach the class. I set a time for class.

But then.... Nobody came.

Why?

I was too scared to tell anyone!  

What if nobody came?? The old self image was lurking around in my psyche, keeping me from putting up flyers and marketing the class.   It was a text book example of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I felt doomed.  Maybe I was a rotten human being after all...  What if she-who-no-longer-speaks-to-me was right??  Or.... was that just "stinkin' thinkin'?"

Fortunately, I gave it another go in August.  I organized a meetup. I made flyers. I started believing I would make it happen, even if I only had one student.

I had one new student turn up.  

I gave her my best.


The next time, I had  TWO  students.   

Last week, I had seven students, which meant that I more than tripled my numbers.  As this trend continues, I'll soon outgrow the venue!

What happened?  I truly embodied the role of being an intenSati Leader.  I jumped into the game with both feet. 

It wasn't about me any more.  It was people feeling better by getting into action!  Demonstrating the joy of moving and shouting miracle-causing mantras.  I AM a messenger of love. I AM encouraging people to live a life they love, in a body they love.

I overheard the following recently, and I think it's true:


 If this country were to suddenly experience a rampant epidemic of self love, the health care industry would save millions of dollars!  

So what's your thing?  What's your authentic gift for the world?  Who will you dare to allow yourself to be?  What will it take for you you to take that risk? Right now!!

Remember the words of Marianne Williamson as she told us all that we don't serve the world by playing small. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt's words of wisdom when she said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  

Sometimes it begins with forgiveness. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, sometimes others. Often, both. Give yourself permission to see yourself with kind eyes. See the world around you with kind eyes.  Even the ones who don't seem to GET you. 

Whatever you have planned today, give yourself permission to be amazing.  Don't allow ANYONE to disturb or distort the GREATNESS of who you are, at your core. 

There will always be those who don't like us, or who think we're idiots.  I know I have my share of people who think I'm a total nut job.  That's okay, in the words of the dude, "That's just like, your opinion, man!! "

This month, I'm taking time out each morning to reflect on the meaning of the Prayer of St. Francis.  Whatever your spiritual beliefs, I invite you to listen to Sarah McLachlan singing the words, and see what it might bring for you.  And please, please, please, allow yourself to SHINE!!!!!  The world needs your light!

If you ever find yourself in Bend on a Saturday, come to my class!  Or, visit Patricia Moreno's web site where you can download a free workout:  Satilife.com